A bar, pub or nightclub is a very destructive place to be, and it can be unforgiving.
From stairs, solid wood floors, glass tables and the dark it would be tough to imagine a more dangerous place.
Oh and add to that the fact that everyone is walking around armed ( with a drinking glass) it starts to go from a friendly place to a serious hazard
Oh and add to the mix a few drunks, and you have a perfect breeding ground for serious violence.
So in this article, we are going to teach you how to survive in the worst hell holes (erm bars) imaginable.
1. Avoid The Dumps
I feel I must say this first and foremost; the best tip is NOT to go to dumps.
When I say dumps I mean the types of places that are known for trouble.
Now I write this as a 38-year-old man and not a 20-year-old.
When I was 20, I went where the girls with the shortest skirts on went, regardless of the trouble that occurred. So I do understand why sometimes people end up in the types of bars that are less than desirable.
That being said use your common sense and try and avoid them!
2. Never Drink Past Midnight
Ok, I am flexible with this rule depending on what time I go out, but my general rule of thumb is to say that only four things happen after midnight.
- a) all the frogs turn into princes or princesses (depending on your desire) as the beer goggles come on.
- b) You eat a kebab, not necessarily bad, but at midnight you will tend to have a nice ‘healthy-ish’ chicken kebab with salad, by 1 am you will have descended into the world of lamb kebab, and anything, after 2 am you, will be hitting the donner meat and chips.
- c) You will either be kissing a frog (that you think is royalty) or angry that you haven’t managed to pull the local wildlife.
- d) You will end up crossing paths with nasty people.
So you can avoid all of this by not drinking after midnight, you will be merry, have your senses about you, pick a better midnight snack and avoid the frogs and idiots.
3. The Enemy Deserves No Mercy
So now we have got rid of the part of the article which deals with common sense, let us deal with the part that talks tactics.
I am assuming that you are a nice person, probably employed and enjoy watching Netflix etc.
Ok now imagine the opposite of you, the exact ‘anti-you’. Violent, angry and hates Netflix (the last one is optional of course).
Think bad Superman in Superman 3 (and if you haven’t watched the film you can YouTube it).
That is the person you will meet on a night out if you are unlucky. That is the person who will fight you for just looking at them.
So let me give you this lesson and heed the advice. When you do cross paths with these types, that is not the time to hit them ‘a little’.
If you decide to punch them first or they hit you first, and you need to retaliate, you do so as if your life depended on it.
You need to leave your Mr Nice Superman persona on the dancefloor and hit them with your best shots.
If they hit the deck, stay sharp and look around.
You’re not aiming to kill people here, but you are simply hitting them with your best and most powerful shots.
I say this because in bars there is an odd phenomenon where people push and shove each other first.
If you decide to hit them, then you hit them hard! The nasty guys don’t push and shove they pick up a glass and plunge it into your face.
4. The Deck Is Not The Place To Be But Neither Are The Stairs
OK, so we all know that the ground is not the place to be in a fight, but neither are the stairs.
Same goes for balconies or near the stairs.
Just by being off balance you can end up down them, and this is serious stuff.
So if you are in a beef with someone and you are near the stairs move, so you are not near them.
I did this once to a guy; he was after a fight so I said ‘I can’t hear you, come over here’ I walked away from the stairs, and verbally de-escalated the situation.
How? I said to him “hey I am having a good night, I don’t want any trouble. All that’s going to happen is you will hit me, probably hurt me and I might get a few punches in and you will probably spend the night in the police cells, don’t know about you, but I would rather have a drink’.
It worked like a charm and he got to keep his pride (and his teeth of course).
Avoid violence by losing status and remember, just when they think they are beating you, really you are beating them!
5. Deal With The Arm Holding A Glass First
If you train Defence Lab, this will be second nature, but if they have a glass or bottle in their hand, smash the arm holding it.
You do not want them to have the glass in their hand because that is what will be coming to your face.
Now I know that this is easier said than done because you don’t want to knock it out of his hand for it to smash into some poor person’s face nearby.
I have a rule, smash downwards, and the glass should either end up in them (win-win) or on the floor.
Either way, if they are holding a glass, you need to end that before it ends up in your face.
Ok so I know that this is not an exhaustive list and if you want to learn some kick-ass fighting skills, you need to join the online university.
But those five rules will give you an edge and in a bar brawl you need that edge!
Happy drinking and stay safe.